The Vietnamese Lifestyle

My biggest disappointment during my trip so far is that I have had a lack of interactions with the Vietnamese population, outside of potential scams, shoeing away book/opium sellers, and arguing over the equivalent of a 20 cent difference with a fruit seller. However, in the last few days, I have had a series of interactions with several people that have really opened my eyes to what Vietnamese culture really is, how they think, and what challenges their society faces. The first came with our waiter several nights ago in Hoi An, a woman named Dong. I have noticed that during meals waiters eagerly stand right next to your table if they are not occupied with another chore (which is usually the case). At first, this kind of freaked us out; we have someone who may or may not understand what we're saying eavesdropping on us. Dong was different from most waiters though- she wasn't just standing there, she was actively involved in our entire meal. Initially, we all found her presence very annoying- she was rubbing my head/back, and trying to make small talk with Sam and I. So I assumed she was another girl who flirts to try to recieve a better tip, or a further service call, or something of that nature. But as time passed, it was clear she was interested in none of the previously stated. All Dong wanted was someone to talk to, but really, someone to listen. Dong is 21 years old, and for the last 5 years, she has worked 13 hour days, with one day off a month. She originally worked at a restaurant on the beach, recieving a pay of 2 dollars a day. She was noticed by another manager, and because of her good English, she was hired at a fancier estaurant, the one we were eating at. She now earns almost 4 dollars a day, and still work 13 hour days, with still, one day off a month. She spent 2 hours at a hospital several days ago, and it cost her a weeks salary. The most amazing thing, however, was that during our entire conversation, she never once sounded as if she was looking for sympathy. She had a very restrained and cautious tone, yet also had a look of fierce rebellion. She looked like the 5 year old on a playground who is always picked on, yet continues to play every single day. As the conversation went on, several of the guys I am traveling with grew increasingly frustrated with her lack of initiative to move up in the world, as well as her presence at our table. "Go open a stand outside and make sandwiches! Every tourist will buy from you and you won't be a slave" said one of us. "You are so smart, open your own restaurant!" one of us said in a half yelling-half joking tone. Dong looked utterly perplexed- the thought of something slightly entrepreneurial seemed foreign to her. She constantly shook her head no, explaining that those types of people are different. Those types of people: the scamers, the street salesmen, the lazy motorcycle and tuk-tuk drivers, are looked at differently in society. So, rather than make something of her own, she feels forced to play into the system of slave-like labor. It disturbed me, that thoughts of individuality were completely unthinkable to Dong. However, the epitomy of this was in her explanation of the coconut. The coconut is a tip jar, located at the bar, with a sign on it that says "fund for holiday to Cambodia." Every time Dong, or any other worker gets a tip, they put the tip in the jar and it is then pooled to the other waiters. Dong claims that all her monthly tips would double her salary, yet she has never once taken a tip into her own pocket. It sounds like she charms many customers, because several days ago, a family of four met her on the beach to give her a 7 dollar tip, so it would be outside the jurisdiction of the restaurant. The guys I was traveling with were absolutely appalled and disgusted by her failure to take one tip for herself. Us capitalist pigs couldn't understand how she would want to share her income, based on her English speaking skills as well as charm, with the other workers.

As the night went on, we finished our meal and headed downstairs to shoot pool. It was late, and we were the only remaining customers in the restaurant. The heavily dominated playlist of The Beatles and Paul Simon continued to play in the background. The entire staff of mostly young waiters, bartenders, and hosts sat around silently, several looking at pictures on the internet, several resting their heads on the bar, tired after another long day's work. They watched as we played, as we drank beer, and as we laughed. And then I realized why Dong always puts her tips in the coconut to share with these people. She spends every day, 13 hours a day, every single day except for one during the month, with these people. These people are more than her co-workers, more than her friends, they are her family. Had we realized this earlier, I wonder if we would have considered stealing from our own family. I sat near the pool table thinking about all this, and wondering what the staff was thinking. I wondered if behind their seemingly empty eyes, they all eagerly awaited the chance to tell their stories like Dong had done earlier. I wondered if they dreamt about a day where they could go on their "holiday to Cambodia," a day which probably will never come, beacuse I have yet to meet a Vietnamese person who has left the country, and it is rare to meet someone who has even left their own city. Doing the same thing every day, seeing the same people, I wonder if they think about what's outside. During my trip, I will visit 9 countries, meet hundreds of different people, and experience thousands of examples of different cultures. During their life, they will stay in 1 country, with the same people, and experience the same culture.

After reading this, hopefully you will realize that not every second of every day for me is spent sitting at a beach drinking fruit shakes, or shooting pool or partying. I thought about Dong for a long time that night. But after a conversation with Joe, who had just been in India for a month, I learned that Dong has life pretty well, and that I'll be meeting a lot more people worse off than Dong in the coming months.

So, aside from this reflection, I have been spending a lot of time sitting on beautiful beaches; swimming, playing hours of beach soccer, and drinking fruit shakes. We are in a resort town called Nha Trang, and it has been mostly a torentual downpour the last several days, which has had zero effect on the crazy amount of fun we're having. We'll stay here a couple days, and then are moving South to Saigon. Today I'm going to see the largest outdoor Buddha in the world, and also go to some hot springs and mudbaths. Update on cooler and more upbeat stuff will come in the next few days. Until next time, keep having fun with whatever you're doing!