Making It The Big Time

Pictures to follow soon, and oh are they funny. The last few days have been amazing; we've been hanging out in a small beach town called Nha Trang, several hours North of Saigon, Ho Chi Minh City to be politically correct. While the beach is beautiful, it is also monsoon season, so it rains...a lot. However, the rain did nothing to impede on our fun. Being the last day we would spend in Nha Trang, we decided to get up at 7, check out from the hotel, and sign up for an all day boat cruise. The last several days, we have heard nothing but amazing things about the cruise- free booze, free lunch, snorkeling, swimming, music, dancing and partying- all for less than 7 dollars. Well, the cruise offered all of the previously stated things, except it had a catch: we were the only Westerners on a boat of 20 middle aged-older Vietnamese people. We were a little shocked when we arrived at the port and saw our companions for the day, as most of the tours and things like boat cruises are usually occupied by Westerners with money (or at least more money than the average Vietnamese person). It was very early, very rainy, and we realized we weren't going to be spending the day with other travelers partying. So we had two choices: act like snobby tourists and duck into our shell of card games and secluded conversation, or party like crazy with the Vietnamese. Obviously, we chose the latter.

Immediately when we entered the boat, I decided to give a welcome speech which consisted of a loud "sin chao" (hello in Vietnamese) to our fellow sailors. No one acknowledged me. It takes two to play this game, I thought. So as the morning went on, we persisted in our attempt to desegregate the boat. Our first stop at the first island was spent snorkeling, an activity that I generally shy away from due to the fact that I am scared of fish. However, in the last 3 weeks, I have started to eat fish, and am desensitized to their sliminess and ugliness and thus, less scared of fish. Basically, I've grown a sack of marbles- I threw my goggles and snorkle on and jumped in. There weren't many fish in the water, mostly just garbage and small jellyfish, which I will get to later. So snorkeling was fun, and we returned to the boat determined to bring together our fellow boatgoers.

Lunch was served around a large table, in which we all toasted the Vietnamese "yo!" before devouring the fish, rice, and eggs. I noticed the atmosphere was becoming more friendly during the meal, some Vietnamese sitting next to me twice offered me some of their food. They're ready, we decided. So after lunch, as our tour guide was playing guitar and singing some lame Vietnamese song, we decided to step up our game and "make it the big time.*" Our enthusiasm was contagious*, and within minutes, the entire boat was on their feet singing and dancing. We proceeded to steal the guitar from our tour guide and started singing Grateful Dead and Bob Dylan songs, all while the Vietnamese jumped up and down clapping. And this was just the beginning. Soon after the tour guides finished playing some interactive game which I have not the slightest clue of what the objective was (I just threw up random fingers and hummed my rendition of "Oh When The Saints Come Marching In"), the wine started flowing and the spirits started growing. The DJ threw on some Mary J Blige, and the Vietnamese threw off their clothes and starting jumping in the water. While we deterred to go swimming due to the fact that last time we swam our entire bodies stung, we figured it would be an insult to our new friends if we wimped out on their fun. So, we jumped in. And, it stung like hell. I was in and out of the water within seconds, and my whole body stung, except for my testacles, or newly grown sack of marbles, which were on fire. I got on the boat screaming, and my tour guide was promptly at my side to give me a nice chunk of ice to rub with. It soothed the pain a little bit, however, the shots of wine and pineapple did a better job. It's a real scam that the boat owners have going- they charge 15,000 dong (1 dollar) to wash off with water on the boat, a service that they know every customer will need due to the fact that they take us swimming in jelly fish infested water.
Anyways, we all returned to the boat in pain, and the music continued to blare. Only this time, there was no food on the table, so it was turned into a dance floor. And this is when things got crazy. I broke out the Borat dance, the bow and arrow, and the shopping cart. Sam starting shooting the dice, and doing some weird disco walk. A young Vietnamese couple starting salsaing. Joe, a former yeshiva student, did what he claimed was a bar mitzvah dance, which resulted in a bloody knee. It continued to poor rain, but no one really cared. On that boat, we drank and danced and overcame extreme cultural and generational gaps. It was a day that none of us will soon forget.

*Both were borrowed and taught to me by my camp director Jordan Shiner, a man who epitomizes both of these lines